This was me today, finishing Veronica Roth’s ALLEGIANT
That is all.
Month: October 2013
I have a blurb for WIP!
It’s still a work in progress, obviously, but here’s the blurb I’m using for NaNo:
Seventeen-year-old Mia Salcedo has her entire future planned out: She’s going to leave Miami and the disaster of her parents’ divorce, attend NYU, and become the world’s greatest writer. But when she’s diagnosed with lupus, her entire world comes to a crashing halt. Determined to stay in denial, she confides in no one, not even her best friend and boyfriend. But it’s not enough. Even the everyday tasks are excruciating, and soon, she’s alienating everyone just when she needs them most. To escape the pain and exhaustion and mockery, she turns to her writing, which literally takes her to the worlds she creates, where she’s free from the constraints of the disease. As she retreats from the real world for longer periods of time, however, her words and worlds become darker, and she’s forced to make a choice: stay and watch everyone she loves fade away, or return to reality and face her reality. But will it be too late to mend the relationships she’s worked so hard at pushing away? And will her health fail her when she needs it most?
Eradicating Self-Doubt
One of my favorite quotes about writing is this:
“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” –Sylvia Plath
It’s the reminder that, above all, I can never let self-doubt win. Because let’s be honest: everyone doubts themselves. Even if on the exterior they ooze confidence, I guarantee that in the darkest corners of their being, they sometimes, at some point, feel it creeping in. It’s inevitable. I’ve stopped asking, “Is this normal?” and started thinking, “Beat it, punk. I don’t have time for you.”
It’s easy to let the crippling fear of self doubt paralyze you. That bugger is a thorn who craves breaking you. But I think when we realize that this isn’t something unique to us, that even the most fabulous, amazing storytellers among us have felt it and probably still feel it at times, then we can square our shoulders and push self-doubt out. Slam the door shut in its face. Recognize the bait it uses, the repeated pattern of assault and re-entry so we can squash it before it takes hold.
Because if you let it take hold, you will quit. And if you quit, you’ll never reach your dreams. This is something I can’t–and won’t–afford. I know in the deepest part of me, the part that self-doubt tries to overshadow, that I can do this. That I will do this. It’s just a matter of time. In that time, I’ll keep learning, improving because that’s what we have to do. We can’t stay static. (Heck, this is a human reality, not just a writer one. We never stop learning and we never should. Otherwise, what good are we to society? To the world? To ourselves?)
I know I’m not alone. I’ve read blog posts of New York Times best-sellers who tackle this issue. The fear that seeps in with a blank page, with a new series, with revisions. Can I do this? What if I have no more words in me? What if…? And time and time again, the answer is yes, I can do this. Yes, I have more words. Yes….
So self-doubt, hear me: Get the eff out. You’re not welcome in this creative space.
Plotting my way to NaNoWriMo
I’m breaking my hiatus. The last few weeks, I’ve been slowly swinging upward. Slowly, I’ve been finding that the pain is a little less severe, the exhaustion a little less debilitating, my energy a little more pronounced, and my breathing a little more at ease. I’m having way more “good” days than “bad” ones and can keep up with the pace of life. I’m cautiously optimistic that it’ll last. After going off the evil med, I didn’t start a new one and I’m holding out hope that maybe I don’t have to. That maybe I can control it with what I’m already on. And maybe–just maybe–I can stop those at some point.
But that’s not what this post is about. Nope. It’s all about NaNoWriMo!
I debated about participating in the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year. After I finished THROUGH THE WALLED CITY, I’ve been in this lull. Sure, I’m querying, but creatively, I was in an abyss. Where to now? TTWC was done. The PB I was working on sent to a contest. And with the semester in full swing and being inundated with papers to grade, I didn’t know if I had the energy to purse another long project. Not only that, but I had (ahem, have) a list of awesome shiny new ideas but no clue which to pursue next. They were a black hole of ideas. A friend encouraged me to work on something short and fun, and I considered short stories. Then I thought to work on another picture book manuscript. I started it. Then I had an idea for a children’s poem, which I completed and which sucked words back into me. I worked and reworked it and submitted it to a magazine.
I was back to square one with the writing. What next? And NaNo around the corner made me take another long look at those shiny new ideas. I turned them over in my mind on my commute to and from work (I have a loong commute). I poked and prodded them while prepping for class or while my students wrote. And soon, the project took form in such a way, that I wanted to smack my forehead with a resounding DUH. It’s another YA magical realism (or maybe light fantasy?) but it’s different than what I’ve written in the past.
So I have my NaNoWriMo project. I wanted to prepare, but I was running out of time. And I had papers to grade (they’re truly never ending). This weekend, however, I finally had downtime and I started plotting. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m more of a pantser when I begin writing. About half-way, I’ll start plotting. I want to do things differently this time because I’m determined to “win” NaNo. I want to reach 50K by the end of November. Plotting will help me reach that goal.
Monday I put the final plotting touches and I’m excited to start. I’ve been drafting some character sketches, getting acquainted with my main character and her mom. But more than that, I’m excited and a tad bit nervous. Because this will probably be one of the more personal projects I’ve tackled.
In the coming days, I’m going to update my NaNo profile and this blog to include the blurb and tentative title for this project.
And I’m ready to “win.”
Alexandra Alessandri 