Month: May 2012

Blog, Writing

Writing away

Alexandra Alessandri

It’s funny how all feels right in the world when I can get a few hours of straight writing time. It’s like all else–the aches and pains, the frustrations, the everyday nuances like crappy traffic, the responsibilities–just melts away and instead I’m suspended in my world, with my characters. I imagine it’s like meditation.

I wrote a new scene today and revised two chapters, which I’ll be reading at my critique group tonight. The electricity of seeing this project take shape is amazing. It’s better than any jolt of caffeine could give me and better than any tipsiness alcohol can give. It’s pure and light and giddy. It’s what I hold onto on the moments of despair and self-doubt. It’s what sustains me.

Blog, Health

Bye, Bye, Gallbladder

Alexandra Alessandri

I had surgery on Monday to have my gallbladder removed. I’d been having “issues” with it for quite some time, and this past December, I found out why: it was functioning abnormally. It wasn’t the one, large stone I had in it. It just wasn’t working. And I was paying for it mostly with pain and nausea. No matter how bland I ate, the pain and nausea were constant. Every day. For hours sometimes. It wasn’t fun.

I scheduled the surgery for May 14 since I didn’t want to take time during a regular semester. Turns out, my uncle also had surgery the same day, to repair a hernia. So Monday became a family event. My mom was a bundle of nerves, repeating the same story over and over again. I wasn’t too nervous. Ironically, the thing that had me the most nervous was the idea of having a foley catheter put in. Forget surgery. Forget removal of an organ. Forget the anesthesia. Nope. It was the foley catheter. The nurse laughed when I asked about it, but thankfully, it wasn’t necessary. For some reason, that really freaks me out.

The last time (and the only time) I’ve had surgery, was when I was 9. My appendix ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery, twice. I don’t remember much about that surgery, only that I had recently been to the beach and gotten burned so much that, during recovery, my skin peeled off. And I remember I had my favorite PJ, a teal-and-white colored gown with some ruffles on the bottom and a pink bow towards the top. I think it made me feel like a princess; that’s why I liked it. I don’t remember the pre-op or post-op. Just my peeling skin and my princess PJ.

Since then, I’d only had an endoscopy once, ten years ago, and that was outpatient. No big deal.

This time, I was more aware of what was going on. I wasn’t nervous; I just wanted to be knocked out already and get it over with. It was done laprasopically, with a robot, and I really only have one incision (in the belly button) and another tiny puncture. They glue it now so there are no stitches or bandages.

I had to wait, though. Initially, I was scheduled for 8:30 AM. Then it got moved to 1, then 1:30 by the preceding Friday. I got to the hospital on time, got into the pre-op area on time, only to be told, once I was ready with my IVs and all, that we’d have to wait yet another hour. I read to pass the time (I started reading Amanda Hocking’s Trylle trilogy), while my husband sat next to me and my mother tended to my uncle. Crazy day.

I don’t remember much after they said we were ready. I think I was dreaming. It was a dark, still sleep but I think I was still dreaming, though of what I can’t be sure because right when I realized I was dreaming, I came to, with the realization that a tube was being removed from my mouth. And I started having a panic attack. Panic/anxiety attacks are bad enough when you’re awake: the heat, pressure, the lack of air, the unrelenting beating of the heart against the chest. It’s like drowning and trying to break the surface, to get air, to breathe, to live. Imagine that, but still sedated, unable to move, arms and eyes unresponsive. Aware of what’s going on (like I have a tube shoved down my throat) but unable to react. It was horrible. In retrospect, it looks like the anesthesia wore off too soon, something I’m going to have to remember for any future surgeries (though, God willing, I won’t have any more).

Recovery in the post-op room was slow and painful. I felt neglected, in and out of consciousness, and vaguely aware of the gnawing pain in my throat (from the tube) and in my belly. I couldn’t speak to ask for medicine, and for a while, I was alone, the nurse attending other patients. I remember shadows and shards of those three hours.

But recovery since has been going well. I stayed overnight in the hospital. I kept liquids and food down, didn’t throw up, and began walking fairly quickly. I was released the next morning with a prescription for Percocet that wasn’t working for me. I’m weird like that. Drugs that work for others have absolutely no effect on me. The pain would get worse, actually. It’s frustrating, especially when I’d tell the nurses and they didn’t believe me, like I was just looking for stronger painkillers, looking for an addiction. Even when I stressed that I didn’t need something stronger, I needed a different type of medicine, they didn’t believe me. So I came home and took ibuprofen, 800 mg, and it’s been working.

Though I don’t like having surgery, there are a few perks that come with it:

1) no more pain and nausea and frustrations with eating

2) I’ve lost 5 pounds since the surgery

3) I can rest, and I spend most of the day in peace and quiet while my son’s at school. Hours of time just for me, to rest, read, catch up on Glee, grade and, most importantly, write.

But seriously, I hope to never have to do this again.

Blog, Writing

The Hunger Games Movie

Alexandra Alessandri

I finally made it out to see The Hunger Games movie. Finally. After a great morning writing, I ate lunch quickly, let the doggies out, and headed to the theater.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to react. My students were split: some loved it, others hated it. There didn’t seem to be too much middle ground. The reviews online were similar. I know in the past, I’m usually not very happy with movies based on books because directors take too many liberties with the raw material (the book) and they tend to change things that didn’t need to be changed and they cheapen relationships between the characters. Instead of the deep threads that form between characters in a book, movies tend to show these superficially, or not at all. This was the case with the Harry Potter and Twilight films. However, I recognize that the more distance between the last reading of the book and the watching of the film, the less frustrating the changes are.

So, excited and nervous, I paid for my ticket and made my way into a mostly empty theater (only three of us), right as the film started. I warn you, there will be spoilers, so, if you haven’t read the books, or seen the movie, and don’t want it spoiled, then stop reading NOW.

Let me start with what I didn’t like.

  1. I had a problem with some of the casting before I ever watched the movie, but watching it brought it front and center. I didn’t like Haymitch, Cinna, Peeta, and Effie. They just didn’t mesh with what I envisioned and they didn’t exactly act like the characters in the book, either, especially Haymitch and Cinna.
  2. We didn’t get into Katniss’ head, so, those who didn’t read the books would have no idea what she was thinking. It wasn’t immediately obvious by her actions/expressions.
  3. The shaking of the camera in the beginning drove me nuts. It made me dizzy. I hate it when they do that in films.
  4. They cut so much out of the train ride, and changed others. I kept shaking my head. What happened to Haymitch being surprised with “Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year”? Only Katniss wields a knife. Peeta doesn’t do anything. The relationship between the three is different, and not good different.
  5. In the chariot rides (in the book), Katniss and Peeta were instructed to hold hands. In the movie, Peeta initiates this. I had a problem with this because it places more weight on Peeta’s role in snubbing the Capitol.
  6. Speaking of, Haymitch does NOT like Katniss in the books (though he tries to keep her alive). But in the movie, he likes her and cares for her (with the occasional slip back into his book-part). I didn’t care for it.
  7. The tracker-jacker scene–no, no, no! That many tracker-jackers buzzing about would’ve killed her. They’re TRACKER-jackers. They track those who harm them. They were buzzing outside and saw her. They’d have swarmed her. (And yes, that’s not how it happened in the book).
  8. The detonation of the careers’ food pack: another no, no, no! First of all, they all should’ve gone. Second of all, the explosion hurt Katniss’ ear! This is something that makes its way into book 2. It’s important! But no, the explosion does nothing to her except disorient her a little. Argh!
  9. No sleep syrup when they were in the cave! What’s up with that?! I was really looking forward to their time in the cave, the stories (like Prim’s goat), and her tricking him. There was a huge connection in the cave (in the book) and it was glazed over.
  10. The final scene with the mutts and Cato didn’t work for me, either. One, it gave Cato more importance than needed. Two, Peeta didn’t get hurt (hello, he’s supposed to almost lose his life, and he loses his leg!). Incidentally, the actor that played Cato is who I thought should’ve played Peeta. That’s how I imagined Peeta.
  11. Since Peeta wasn’t near his death-bed when they “won,” there was no Katniss frantically pounding on the glass doors while doctors tried to save Peeta’s life. It’s a shame; that would’ve been a great shot.
  12. The ending was rushed and the depth of Peeta’s hurt isn’t explored. He just asks, “What now?” and she just replies, “I don’t know.” Really? REALLY? Sigh. Peeta was devastated. Hurt. Not so in the movie.

But I did like the movie overall. Here’s what worked for me:

  1. I liked the beginning. I think the image of the Seam, the Hob, and District 12 was very nicely done.
  2. I also liked how Gale and Katniss’ relationship was established. Though I was initially annoyed that she knew things that early on, like about Avoxes, and that a hovercraft appeared, I thought it was good because it set up the story. We’ll need to know this later.
  3. The start is a little different from the book, but I think it was well done, even with the changes. The relationship between mom, Katniss and Prim is established and they got it.
  4. I didn’t mind too much about the pin and that there was no Madge. I think it was tastefully incorporated, and it took on a different meaning as it became a token between sisters.
  5. The sign-in procedure isn’t in the book, but it adds another layer to the story, a good layer. It reinforces the horror of the Games.
  6. The reaping was beautifully done. The lining up, the music, the solemn mood–it built up the tension so that when Prim’s name is called and Katniss volunteers, it’s heart-breaking.
  7. The stark contrast of the Capitol versus the Districts was also captured nicely. The eccentric, colorful Capitol comes alive and we’re left with a visible, tangible difference that Collins shows us.
  8. I really liked that we’re given an outside look into the other Districts (e.g. the uprising in 11), into President Snow, into Seneca Crane’s role as Gamemaker, and into the entertainment value of Caesar Flickerman. One of the downfalls of 1st person narration is that we’re only privy to the narrator’s thoughts and actions. The film moved past that and gave us a more omniscient narration. It worked well.
  9. I loved the costumes, Girl on Fire.
  10. I liked how the training room was portrayed, how we were introduced into the characters, even the nameless ones.
  11. Rue–I loved Rue! She was one of the best castings in the movie.
  12. Some other good castings: Katniss, Prim, President Snow, Gale.
  13. I didn’t mind that they didn’t show Katniss trying to find water (it was too easy, but that was minor in the scope of it all), and I think they did the fire scene nicely.
  14. Peeta’s “camouflage” into the side of the river was spectacular! They did a really good job with that.
  15. I liked the scene in the cave (with the exceptions noted above). It was more direct than the book, and there was less ambiguity from Katniss.
  16. The berries scene was also nicely done.

I know I missed things. There was only so many notes I could tap into my phone. Overall, I liked the movie. It’s one of the better adaptations, though it could have been better on several counts. I’m looking forward to see what “they” come up with for Catching Fire.

Blog, Health, Ramblings, Writing

Random Monday

Alexandra Alessandri

1. I received Veronica Roth’s book Insurgent wirelessly into my phone on May 1st. I was going to wait, really, I was, but I couldn’t. I started reading at 5ish in the morning and, by the evening, I had finished the book. I had read the first book in her trilogy, Divergent, last year and was hooked on her story. It is similar to The Hunger Games in several ways, but, as much as I hate to admit it because I loved The Hunger Games, Divergent was better I think. So when I received Insurgent, I was hooked. Much of what I liked in the first book was there (the characters, the plot line, the world, the factions, and of course, the love story), but there was more action, the characters were developed further, and secrets were revealed. Now I have to wait until she finishes book 3, which I think is rumored to come out some time at the end of next year. *gasp* I have to wait a whole year! I’ve never gotten hooked on a book so early on. The HP series was almost all out when I started reading them, and The Hunger Games trilogy was also all out when I first read book 1. This will be very interesting indeed.

2. I submitted my writing sample and application for the Novel Writing IV course at UCLA Writer’s Extension Program with Lynn Hightower. I am super excited and psyched about taking that class as I’m hoping it will get me closer to my end goal: completing a polished draft of my novel by the end of the summer. Now I wait (have I mentioned how much I dislike waiting…?) and cross my fingers. I should hear back some time around June 14 whether or not I got in.

3. I also submitted the first chapter of my novel for a manuscript consultation at the SCBWI Florida Summer Workshop 2012 this June. I’m scheduled for the Novel workshops and have requested a manuscript consultation. I’m hoping to take away as much, if not more, as I did this past January at the Miami Conference. I’m nervous and excited about this. I’ve had manuscript consultations before (twice on my memoir and twice with great feedback), but this will be the first YA manuscript consultation.

4. I’m listening to an audio book: Sarah Dessen’s Along for the Ride, a contemporary YA novel. I know audio books aren’t knew, but it’s the first time I’ve ever listened to one! It was weird at first. I didn’t like listening to the book. But after a while, I got into it. I’m in chapter 5, I think. I’ve downloaded it to my iPhone so I can take it with me to waiting rooms and such.

5. Next Monday, I’m having my gallbladder removed. I’m a little nervous but more anxious to start feeling better. I’m tired of the nausea and pain and the inability to freaking eat. It’s gotten to the point where even the bland stuff I don’t tolerate. So while I’m not keen on losing yet another body part (lost my appendix when I was 9), I am looking forward to feeling better. It should be a quick and easy surgery and I hear the recovery time is minimal (barring any complications, of course). I’m also looking forward to some R&R and being pampered.

Blog, Writing

Anticipation

Alexandra Alessandri

I feel the anticipation building, stretching through my insides. Tomorrow, I can begin to write, really write. Winter term is done. Grades were submitted, graduation attended. Summer online classes are ready to go. So tomorrow, after I drop off my son at school and after my doctor’s appointment, I get to park myself in my office and just write for several hours straight. No interruptions. Heaven.

I’ve been waiting for this moment all year.

Vaguely, I wonder if Isabel Allende feels this same kind of anticipation as she prepares to start writing a new book on January 8. All the ideas and inspirations boiling down to one starting date, when the gates open and it can all rush out.

It’s like the anticipation a child feels, counting down the days for the BIG trip to Disney.

Or the anticipation a high school senior feels as prom and graduation get near.

Granted, I’m not starting a new book. It’s really not that big a deal except that I’m going to get to write. A lot. More than one or two hours straight, more than one or two days in a row. Without interruption. And not at night, when the weariness of the day weighs me down. In broad daylight, well rested. That’s a HUGE deal!

I’ve been keeping up, revising scenes, organizing chapters, developing characters and story some more. I have a few new nuggets of this world I’m building that I want to explore (though some have evaporated because I didn’t write them down in time–talk about frustrating!) It’s just, well, they’re a lot of starts and stops. I work best when I can warm up and keep writing and starting tomorrow, I’m going to get that chance.

So cheers: here’s to a great month of writing!