Blog, Photography, Travel

The Happiest Place on Earth

We just got back from a weekend trip to Disney World, and though I’m tired (and my shins hurt!), we had a good time. My son, in particular, had so much fun that this morning, as soon as we woke up, asked, “Where are we going to today?” When we reminded him we had to head back home, his response was, “No! I want to live here!”

Sometimes, I wish we could live there, too. As corny as it sounds, whenever I step into one of the four parks, I almost believe that magic does, indeed, happen. I feel like a kid again, going on the rides, seeing the shows, viewing the fireworks and watching the parades. I love taking pictures with the characters and reaching down into that hidden child. Of course, my body doesn’t always make that easy for me, but even with the aches and discomforts, I enjoy it there.

This trip, we only went to two parks: Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party (which is a fantabulous –yes, I’m making up words here– trick-or-treating event where kids and grown-ups rock costumes and get a slightly less-crowded time at the park) and Epcot. For Mickey’s Halloween Party, the three of us dressed up as superheroes. My son as Captain America, my hubby as Wolverine, and I as Iron Woman. I’m pretty much a Halloween dork, and I love dressing up, even now. This event is probably one of my favorite’s from Disney.

Out of the parks, Epcot is probably our favorite. The intellectuals in us love all the learning that takes place, and we love “traveling” through the World Showcase. Our trip coincided with the Food & Wine Festival, and I think a marathon of some sort, so the park was packed. As we walked through the countries, we were swept by the sea of people who covered the side walks. There was no way back or forward that didn’t mean weaving through crowds, holding on so we wouldn’t get separated.

My son was now officially tall enough to ride some of the “cool” rides, and I got him on Splash Mountain and Soarin (at the respective parks). He was jumping up and down, giggling, and saying “I love this ride!” before even getting on it. He didn’t like the drop in Splash Mountain, but loved the flying in Soarin.

Here are some pictures we took.

Harvesting Cranberries in Epcot
Harvesting Cranberries in Epcot
Epcot's Spaceship Earth
Epcot's Spaceship Earth
Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow
EPCOT: Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow
Nemo & Friends
The Living Seas: Nemo's Friends
Nemo & Friends
The Living Seas: Dori and Marlin
Spaceship Earth Across the Lake
Spaceship Earth Across the Lake
EPCOT Spaceship Earth
EPCOT Spaceship Earth
Epcot's Food & Wine Festival
Epcot's Food & Wine Festival
Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party
Magic Kingdom Decked out in Halloween
Smiling Pumpkin Mickey
Smiling Pumpkin Mickey
Mickey's Halloween Party
Mickey's Halloween Party
Boo to You Parade
Boo to You Parade

Blog, Ramblings

My newest music obsession: Adele

I’m usually late when “discovering” new artists across genres. This is no exception. A few months ago, while flipping channels, I came across the music video for her song “Rolling in the Deep” and I was hooked. I frantically switched through radio stations to find her songs. I added an “Adele” station on Pandora (and, by doing so, was introduced to amazing artists and songs that I had somehow missed up to this point). And I purchased her most recent album, 21.

Her music is a wonderful mixture of jazzy, soulful notes, and it’s been my perfect companion for writing or drowning out the world around me.

Out of all her songs, though, my favorite is “Rolling in the Deep” -something about the rhythm and beat of this song just gets me every time. It’s one of those songs where, if I’m driving, I’ll open the sunroof (or lower the windows), raise the volume, and just let the music consume me. It’s got attitude.

Editing this post to add:

While my husband and son sleep, I sit in the still, quiet morning with my headphones on, listening to Adele’s recent album, and it hits me while listening to “Someone Like You” –her songs remind me of heart ache and passion, and they remind me of someone sitting in a (coffee) bar, writing to make sense of the world and herself. They also remind me, in some remote fashion, of the canciones de cantina from Colombia that my father and grandfather listened to. These were the songs in the local bars, where men would go drown their sorrows. “Senora Maria Rosa” is one that comes to mind right now. But that image is the only thing that links these two.

Perhaps it’s the strong keyboard presence in the music.

Perhaps it’s the lyrics.

Or perhaps it’s the hue of sadness that paints these songs.

Blog, Ramblings, Writing

4 AM Musings

Hello insomnia. Again. I want to be angry, but I can’t. Too tired.

I awoke at 3:30 from a combination of my sheets being tugged and my son whimpering. They woke me from a glorious dream: the agent I had recently queried about my picture book manuscript had answered my query with a yes, and that feeling of elation lasted me all of two minutes. I did what any other normal writer with a recent submission who wakes up in the middle of the night with such a vivid dream would do; I checked my email. No email.

I went back to bed and urged myself to go back to sleep. I turned left. I turned right. I flipped on my stomach, then to my back. Nothing. Sleep dissipated and left me stranded, so I called on the muses, hoping to get some good writing done. Unfortunately, it seems like they’re asleep, oblivious to my predicament.

So I’ll scribble and grade until I get tired or inspired and hopefully, I won’t be hating life too much later today.

Blog, Writing

Evoking the Senses: A Writing Exercise

One of the exercises I love to do in some of my classes involves description. I break the class into small groups of three and assign each group a word of a place. They have to then use all their senses to describe the place without giving away their location. Then they present it and the class gets to guess the location. We all have fun with it, as the students realize just how specific and descriptive I want them to get.

For example: It smells good. Well, what is good? What does good smell like? Is it the scent of gardenias on a summer’s afternoon? Is it the thick and overpowering smell of steak being cooked on the barbecue? Is it the smell of rain right before the first drops fall?

There’s no denying that good writing uses all the senses, and great writing does so in a manner that is flawless, leaving the reader with beautiful, vivid details and, to paraphrase one of my students, completely transports us into the story. And there’s also no denying that our senses are integrally tied to our memories. How many times have we smelled a particular scent and been hurled into a memory head first? Or sometimes we taste something and we’ll immediately recall a scene from long ago that had been tucked away behind more pertinent memories.

At the FIU Writer’s Conference two years ago, Dan Wakefield, who was leading a workshop on creative nonfiction, gave us a freewriting exercise that involved writing the scenes that came to mind with a few key words. For smell, he gave us: Smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill, perfume, sauerkraut, Vicks vapor rub, new car. I chose to write about the smell of new car:

My mother had always complained about the ol’ junkers in our driveway: a large, army green automatic one, el carro verde and a smaller, two-door stick shift one, el carro blanco. My parents always referred to their old cars by their colors. But my mother wanted a new car. She was tired of the old ones breaking down, and she refused to take the expressway for precisely that fear. For that Christmas in ’89, my father finally conceded to buying a car, and he bought her el Mazdita, a metallic blue, 2-door hatchback. They went from using shades of color to describe the car, and instead focused now on the brand. It was a step up. I loved the new car. It didn’t smell like the lingering, nose-tickling scent of my father’s Winston cigarettes, like the carro blanco did. It didn’t smell damp, like el carro verde did, because water had leaked in through its windows countless times. It smelled new, if newness had a scent. The hard plastic, musty smell of the new car was overpowering, and it reminded me of richness. Even at nine-almost-ten, I could tell the new car smell was empowering to my mother, who although quiet, beamed. She didn’t get many new things; this was a treat. And it was hers. I would simply ride in the back, with my eyes either closed or glued to a Babysitter’s Club book, inhaling the clean, plastic air that was free from pollutants. My mother made it a rule that my father could not smoke in her car. He had the other two junk cars to do that in.

That same car became mine, ten years later, as I was a student at FIU and had left home. My mother had upgraded to a Toyota Corolla; my father didn’t drive. He was sick and stayed home, and although he didn’t know it yet, would have his left leg amputated in a few years. The Mazda was my form of transportation for about a year. The new car smell was gone; instead, it had the scent of books, a Tweety air freshener that was to resemble fruits, and the shampoo of the day.

So here’s a writing prompt, if you need one: write the memories that come to mind with any one of the following:

– The smell of freshly brewed coffee, hamburgers cooking on the grill, perfume, freshly cut grass, Vicks vapor rub, or new car.

– The taste of chocolate covered strawberries, peanut butter, hot chocolate, meatloaf, eggs

– The sound of a washing machine, a car’s engine, a train whistle, chalk on chalkboard

Happy writing!

Blog, Ramblings, Writing

Rude, Obnoxious People

We’ve become a nation of obnoxious, rude people.

I see it on the streets. Cars swerve and skirt around others cars. Drivers yell obscenities and make crude gestures I’m glad my son doesn’t yet understand. I sit behind the wheel and fume, careful to keep it to myself because the last thing I need is for road rage to kill me the way it did the man in the news, where his murder was witnessed by his eleven-year-old daughter.

I see it in the stores. Restaurants, retail–it’s all the same: customers demand without manners. They shove to get to the register first and then treat employees like last night’s leftovers. At Starbucks, voices rise and patrons spit out things like, “I said I wanted it heated to 150 degrees. This is not 150 degrees – do it over!” Of course, the demands may vary, but the tone and body language are always the same.

I see it on TV. Shows like Bridezillas market the idea that rude, obnoxious people are funny and make money.

I see it in Little League, where grown men scream, punch, throw objects and kick, like toddlers having tantrums, because their son hasn’t proven their manhood by being the best.

Perhaps it’s always been this way. My father used to say this was a “primero yo, segundo yo, tercero yo” world–first me, second me, third me. I didn’t believe him then. I thought he was overly sensitive in his old age.

But now I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s just South Florida. Maybe it’s a big-city thing. Regardless, this is the world in which my son is growing up, and it scares me. I worry that no amount of “please” or “thank you” or of modeling behavior will save him from these rude, obnoxious people.

Blog, Ramblings

Let’s Get Dead

Yesterday my son came home from school (pre-K) with the following game in mind: Let’s Get Dead (or something very similar to that). He’s only four. He has no concept about death or dying or anything of the sort. And it bugged me, a lot.

So I kneeled in front of him to have a talk.

“Where’d you learn that game, baby?”

“In school.”

“Who taught you the game?”

“T.” (Full name shall not be disclosed.)

(Insert here that said T is also the one who, during orientation, ran in and grabbed things out of other kids’ hands, and who, on an afternoon during pick-up, had a drink of water from the water fountain, only to spit it outside. He thought it was funny. His mom didn’t, but she had no control over him at that moment as he danced around her, laughing, and she tried to be stern with him.)

“Baby, do you know what that means? Being dead?”

“No.”

“It means you’re not here anymore. If someone’s dead, they’re in heaven and we can’t see them anymore. And we miss them.”

“Star Wars is cool, with shooting and fighting.”

“But that’s not nice, baby. Shooting and fighting is not nice. And this game isn’t nice.”

I like it.”

How do you explain death to a four-year-old? The only death my son has experienced was that of my father, and that was when he was almost six months old! He doesn’t remember!

I know my son will pick up things from other kids in his school. It’s inevitable and all I can do as a parent is try to take each of these moments as a teaching opportunity. And maybe I’m just being overly sensitive. Boys play fight all the time, don’t they? And we did watch Cars, which was a bit violent, though not really more than any other Disney movies (Kill the Beast! anyone?), and the parts that are questionable young kids won’t “get.”

But something about “let’s get dead” really scares me. I don’t like it because I see kids killing kids. I hear it in the news (school shooting or stabbing) and it breaks my heart. Because at what point do we say, oh they’re just being kids, and do we start paying attention?

 

Blog, Writing

The benefits of writing

Sometimes I just want to say – God I love writing.

Whenever I am able to get in a couple hours of straight writing (whether it’s blogging, journaling, writing a first draft or even revising), the fact that I’m able to get lost in my words, erase the world around me and enter a pseudo-meditative state is better than any anti-anxiety drugs out there! (Note, this can also be applied to the act of reading, of getting lost in a story.)

Then there’s the euphoria that comes with creation. Giving birth to characters and stories is, in layman’s terms, awesome. You enter a frenzied state in learning all you can about your character(s). They become real, your friends (or enemies). You know every intimate detail about them, possibly even more than your own spouse. They are your children.

And it doesn’t matter what kind of writing; each has a unique calming quality for me and though I may be writing action, that I can forget my own self and my own circumstances is reward enough. I am no longer me, but a spectator in the unfolding story. I’m right there with an invisibility cloak, walking side by side with the characters. Or, if I’m revisiting my past, even when painful, I get lost in remembering. I may cry, I may laugh – but I forget my problems of the here and now. Heck, even if I’m writing about the problems of now, writing allows me to enter a reflective state that calms me. And poetry, too. And children’s stories.

The act of writing is a spiritual experience.

And now I continue revising my essay…

Blog, Ramblings, Writing

Hello, Insomnia – some musings

It’s 3:15 AM. I should be asleep because I know the consequences of not getting a full night’s rest are brutal. But I’m not; sleep has apparently evaded me. After the initial wake-up from my son’s cries (from either nightmares or night terrors – I don’t know), I just lay in bed, twisting and trying to regain some remnant of a comfortable position with which to greet sleep. Nada. Too hot. Too many thoughts. Another cry from my son.

I gave up and came here, to write. What else do you do at 3 in the morning when the world around you is dead in slumber?

Insomnia. One of the many characteristics of growing old, my condition, and stress. Take your pick.

The start of school has been, indeed, rough. The short period of rest which summer afforded me is now a rapidly disintegrating memory. It’s only been two weeks and already I’ve neared an anxiety attack. The insomnia has also returned, and the pain/inflammation has increased. I’m back on steroids, in a second attempt at relief. My acupuncturist added new needle locations and new natural Chinese herbs.

I’m at a catch-22, my rheumatologist tells me. She has meds that can help with the symptoms. But those meds, like I’ve written before, are not without serious side effects and monitoring. It’s easy to say no to them when the pain is not intense, when it’s a simple whisper as opposed to a piercing scream. Now I waver. Maybe I should give those meds a try.

Today (or rather yesterday since, technically, 3 AM belongs in a new day) was a long day. Grueling not so much because of the amount of work but because it was void of rest. Dropped off my son. Drove through white, forceful rain. Had meetings. Taught classes. Worked on schedules. Squeezed lunch in there somewhere. Drove to meet my husband and son at a dealership. Spent four hours at said dealership. At dinner too late. I know it doesn’t sound bad. Yes, other people have worse days or more hectic days. But here’s the thing: my body cannot tolerate this. It just doesn’t respond. By the time I was driving home, I was near tears from the pain – a gnawing, incessant burning deep inside my bones and a throbbing in my joints.

When we got home, my husband said to me: we’re getting old. I’m exhausted, too, and my back hurts.

And I wanted to scream. Because this isn’t just me getting old. This isn’t just exhaustion. This isn’t just stress (though without a doubt, stress is an integral player in the triggering of a flare-up). My body’s broken. And no one who isn’t going through the same can really understand.

This is one of the frustrating parts of the disease. The loneliness that comes from feeling like a whining child. The shame that comes with feelings of ineptitude because you have to explain why you’re walking slow, or why you’re stuttering or having difficulty in forming coherent speech, or why you’re taking the elevator instead of the stairs (and hearing people’s thoughts screaming: lazy), or why you’re now trying to lessen your workload in order to manage balance and lessen pain (and again, people look at you, see someone young and “healthy” and think: lazy).

I know I’m at a low right now. I know this is cyclical. It will pass and relief will come again, however brief. I have to maintain my focus on that and hang on for this ride. And I need to write.

Because writing saves me.

Blog, Writing

The Hunger Games Trilogy

Something I like about summer is I can catch-up on my reading. It doesn’t happen much during the regular semester because of time constraints (there’s only so far I can stretch myself before being completely useless!), so in the summer, I take full advantage. I joined a book club, which gives me an extra push to read (but that’s another post for another time).

I like young adult (YA) books. But not just any YA; I like fantasy, magic, romance, and a little paranormal. It’s why I like Harry Potter and Twilight, and it’s why I got sucked into reading The Hunger Games trilogy. All three books in four days (of course, I did this when we went on vacation to the beach, before the new semester began, when I still had some extra time).

Once I started reading the first book, The Hunger Games, I couldn’t stop. I downloaded the second (Catching Fire) and the third (Mockingjay) into my phone. I just had to know what happened to the characters and I couldn’t wait until the next time I made it to a bookstore. I needed them NOW.

(On a side note, I’ve never been happier that eReaders exist. I never thought I’d give-in to downloading books – and reading them – from a hand-held device, but it’s actually quite useful. I will NOT give up reading actual books, however; there’s something sacred about that experience… it’s a complete sensory experience. But again, another post for another time.)

So The Hunger Games books were pretty awesome. I loved the story line, the setting, the themes. When I started reading the first book, I kept thinking: This is so Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” meets Survivor with a sprinkle of X-Men. Seriously. Read the beginning of The Hunger Games, the way they pick who the two contestants for each district will be, and tell me it doesn’t sound like “The Lottery.” It’s such a macabre process! And once Katniss and Peeta are in the “games,” it is literally survival of the fittest in a reality TV fashion during this post-apocalyptic era.

One of my favorite lines comes from the last book, and I think it sums up one of the main themes quite nicely (and it’s an excellent observation about our society, our world, our history): “‎Collective thinking is usually short-lived. We’re fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction.” — from Mockingjay.” I can see using this in composition courses and triggering some great discussions.

The writing was good (though not great at times). The books are written in the first person, from Katniss’s point-of-view, which works well. However, sometimes, there’s a lot more telling than showing. We don’t SEE the scenes unfold, we HEAR Katniss telling us about it. This is especially true in the second and third books. Sometimes it didn’t bother me too much, but other times, it did. I didn’t want her to tell me about the reunion with Gale when she got back to District 12; I wanted to see it.

I saw a little of Twilight in the love triangle, when both Gale and Peeta are talking about her while she’s feigning sleep in the last book (Eclipse, anyone?)

But the books were such an addictive read. Suzanne Collins did a great job in hooking the reader with cliffhangers: at the end of chapters and at the end of books. She ensured readers couldn’t wait to read the next book. And the strong within the books, especially the second and third, were war-related themes: dangers of war, the brutality of it, the reality of PTSD. Real dangers today told in a story of a futuristic community. But overall it’s the story of mankind, how we don’t learn from our mistakes but instead keep making them over, and over again. When I read the last word in the final book, all I could say was, “Oh.”

I would definitely recommend these books!

Blog, Ramblings

Defining Success

With the upcoming start of the semester, the notion of academic success is thick in the air. I can smell it. The word is chanted through the halls, written in dark, bold colors, and engraved in the minds of new and continuing students. We want them to succeed. We want them to want to succeed.

The thing is, success is such a charged word. It’s what people everywhere hinge on to deem their worth in society, in academia, or amongst family and peers. So it’s almost as if there’s a movement to counter that. Let’s not care about success. Let’s not worry about passing college. Let’s not allow “the big man” to determine our success.

And in part, I understand. Success is sometimes overrated. Or rather, someone else’s concept of success is overrated. When it comes down to it, we have to decide for ourselves what success means. And then we need to go for it.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (online), success is “a : degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.”

As you can see, the definition varies. For many, success is “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.” I will say this now: this is a hollow form of success. Sure, it’s nice to have money. Sure, it’s nice to have favor or eminence. But if that’s all you have, I feel sorry for you. Because that isn’t true success. Of course, that’s my humble opinion, and I know many who will fight me ferociously on this.

I like to think of success as the second part of the definition: “favorable or desired outcome.” This gives more room to fit in our own unique goals and aspirations. It makes success reachable since we can break up our big goals into reachable, smaller ones, and with each smaller success, build up our confidence in ourselves. In this way, success could be earning a nice paycheck, but it would be so much more than that: It would be satisfaction in our career, it would be love of what we do, it would be balancing our private and professional worlds. Each of those constitute success.

So how does this translate into the classroom? Success isn’t just about getting the A in the class. A’s are (pardon the redundancy) overrated. And if the statistics and research is correct, A’s are inflated anyway, so they don’t count as much as they used to. Success isn’t all about passing exams. Instead, success is about learning along the way. If you end a semester knowing more than when you started, you’ve succeeded. If you’ve built solid peer and mentor relationships, you’ve succeeded. If you’ve helped anyone along the way, you’ve succeeded. Success isn’t all about the end result or the big picture; it’s also about the process and the smaller steps along the way.

Of course, this means that in order to succeed in part, even if it’s not with an A, students need to care about themselves enough to have goals. Students need to roll up their sleeves and pants, and get ready to get dirty with learning. It’s not always fun. It’s not always pleasant, but it is worth it. It really boils down to students caring enough about their goals. If education is where you see success, then you need to do your part. Success isn’t just handed out; it’s earned.

And I would do well to remind myself of this conviction when it comes to my own goals and aspirations. Just because I haven’t reached my ultimate goals doesn’t mean I haven’t succeeded. I just need to look around me at what I have accomplished to know that I have, indeed, succeeded.