October 2011 – Alexandra Alessandri

The end of an era

October 21, 2011January 2, 2012 Alexandra Alessandri

There’s not much different about today. I’m sitting at my usual Starbucks, watching the steady stream of people walk in for their morning fix: Americano, cafe late, white chocolate mocha, salted caramel mocha frapuccino, iced (or hot) tea. I see them chatting with the baristas and the manager. I take breaks, too, and talk about classes and books, and then turn back to my computer as the next group comes in.

But there’s a thick scent of sadness that tinges an otherwise beautiful, and crisp, Friday morning. Today’s their last day open.

The news, taped to the door about a month ago, came as a shock to most of us who’ve been faithful customers over the last decade. We shook our heads in disbelief, murmured how such a thing could be– this place was always full. In the mornings and afternoons, when you’d most likely find me here, the line many times passed the door. Their tables were almost alway occupied.

But still, we came. Because of the people that worked in this Starbucks. They are the reason this Starbucks rocked, why we’re sad its closing. I often think of the TV show Cheers, and the theme song plays in the back of my mind:

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.

This is my place. I’m going to miss it. I can get my coffee somewhere else, sure– that’s not what I’m going to miss. I’m going to miss Bo, Victoria, James, Ethan, and all the other friends I’ve made in this place. I’m going to miss talking about books and religion and life. I’m going to miss the smiles and jokes.

It’s the end of an era.

Blog, Ramblings, Writing

Ear-deep in anxiety

October 13, 2011January 2, 2012 Alexandra Alessandri

Nothing like mid-semester to bring on the anxiety. Part of me is wondering what the hell I was thinking… classes, papers, grading, writing, critique groups…. and doctor visits, anxiety attacks, pain and fatigue. Fun stuff.

But another part of me keeps saying I can do this, and I need to do this.

I started writing scenes for my story. I finally moved past the character sketches, past the talk –I’m finally in. And it feels great. So I have to hold onto those moments that push me forward and glide through this term.

Here’s me holding on…

Blog, Ramblings

Another birthday passed, a better year in sight

October 7, 2011January 2, 2012 Alexandra Alessandri

I’m normally a huge birthday hog. I love them. Perhaps it’s my attempt at making up for all the birthdays that passed with just a simple chuckle from my dad. “We didn’t celebrate birthdays in my day,” he’d say, year after year. “Everything was simple. The boys would get new pants. The girls would get a new dress.” That’s it. Of course, this is what I remember from my preteen/teen years. There are pictures that show, when I was a child (anywhere between 1 and 8), I did, indeed, have birthday parties. And my dad was part of them. I don’t actually remember these parties, though. So year after year, I make a big deal of my birthday. I don’t want to celebrate one day; I want a whole birthday month!

But this year, I was content in smaller scale celebration. No big party for me; no drinking, no late night. I didn’t even harp on everyone the way I normally would.

First of all, I can’t (or rather shouldn’t) mix alcohol with my meds, and second of all, I’m just too tired. My birthday was Wednesday, and after working all day, the last thing on my mind was going out to party. No sir. Instead, we went to my mom’s house and had a beautiful dinner with my mom’s signature dish –lasagna– and relaxed, talked, and laughed. It was perfect.

The day was actually one of my most relaxing birthdays, and though I was tired from my son’s recent night wakings, I really enjoyed it. I was surrounded by love. My students, the day before, surprised me with a small cake and sang “Happy Birthday.” My husband and son started my day with gifts, cards, big hugs, and a sweetly sung “Happy Birthday.” Friends and family called and left messages on Facebook. At every moment of the day, I felt loved. And that’s what birthdays are for, to celebrate the life of those we love, and to celebrate a year passed and to hope for a brighter, better year.

So I’m thirty-two now. The last two years have been a fast-moving, nausea-inducing ride. There have been too many unwelcome changes in my health that have hurled me into a third-life crisis. But this birthday brings with it hope for a better year.

Cheers!

Blog, Writing

I Don’t Remember — A writing prompt

October 3, 2011January 2, 2012 Alexandra Alessandri

I recently gave my class this writing assignment: Write what you don’t remember. It’s a nice twist to one of my favorite prompts (I remember). One of my students asked, “Well, if you don’t remember, how can you write it down?” The key to “I don’t remember” is that in naming what you don’t remember, you inadvertently trigger memories. Memory begets memory. It’s beautiful, really.

For example:

I don’t remember living in Queens, New York. I was five and though I get flashes of memories that walk me through that year, mostly, I don’t remember. What I do remember is the feel of the brick building that held my kindergarden class, where I got lost because I couldn’t understand the teacher’s instructions (since Spanish was what I learned at home) and instead of the playground, I was in the dark, cold hallway with my backpack and lunchbox. Alone. I remember being afraid. I must have cried, too. But that I don’t remember.

I also don’t remember where I lived, except that it was on a slope, and it was on an upper floor (third, perhaps?) because I remember the stairs with dark, wooden walls and the musky smell of closed spaces. I remember my Strawberry Shortcake comforter for my twin bed, though mostly because I have a picture of it with me right beside it: short, bobbed hair, black leotard and pink tights. I must have been taking ballet, though I clearly don’t remember that. I remember ballet in Miami, not in New York.

I remember my father’s fear, when he got mugged. I don’t remember how or when or why, except that I vaguely remember a story of him being taken by four men –or was it three?– and driven around, stripped of his wallet, money, and courage, only to be deposited back somewhere near our apartment, alive. He must have prayed, but I don’t remember him saying if he did. If he were alive, I’d ask him, but I don’t know that he’d remember.

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If you’re feeling a need for a writing prompt, try “I don’t remember” — happy writing!

Blog, Photography, Travel

The Happiest Place on Earth

October 2, 2011January 2, 2012 Alexandra Alessandri

We just got back from a weekend trip to Disney World, and though I’m tired (and my shins hurt!), we had a good time. My son, in particular, had so much fun that this morning, as soon as we woke up, asked, “Where are we going to today?” When we reminded him we had to head back home, his response was, “No! I want to live here!”

Sometimes, I wish we could live there, too. As corny as it sounds, whenever I step into one of the four parks, I almost believe that magic does, indeed, happen. I feel like a kid again, going on the rides, seeing the shows, viewing the fireworks and watching the parades. I love taking pictures with the characters and reaching down into that hidden child. Of course, my body doesn’t always make that easy for me, but even with the aches and discomforts, I enjoy it there.

This trip, we only went to two parks: Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party (which is a fantabulous –yes, I’m making up words here– trick-or-treating event where kids and grown-ups rock costumes and get a slightly less-crowded time at the park) and Epcot. For Mickey’s Halloween Party, the three of us dressed up as superheroes. My son as Captain America, my hubby as Wolverine, and I as Iron Woman. I’m pretty much a Halloween dork, and I love dressing up, even now. This event is probably one of my favorite’s from Disney.

Out of the parks, Epcot is probably our favorite. The intellectuals in us love all the learning that takes place, and we love “traveling” through the World Showcase. Our trip coincided with the Food & Wine Festival, and I think a marathon of some sort, so the park was packed. As we walked through the countries, we were swept by the sea of people who covered the side walks. There was no way back or forward that didn’t mean weaving through crowds, holding on so we wouldn’t get separated.

My son was now officially tall enough to ride some of the “cool” rides, and I got him on Splash Mountain and Soarin (at the respective parks). He was jumping up and down, giggling, and saying “I love this ride!” before even getting on it. He didn’t like the drop in Splash Mountain, but loved the flying in Soarin.

Here are some pictures we took.